Kindergarten Curriculum Choices: Math Edition

In a previous post, I droned on and on about our search for a science curriculum. Today, it's time to discuss math.

There are so many options for homeschool math curricula that I cannot possibly describe all of them—not even all of the most popular ones. I will, however, talk briefly about the main ones we considered before I tell you what we chose. First I’ll talk about the mastery curricula (those in which the goal is for the student to master a concept before moving on to the next concept); then I’ll talk about the spiral or incremental ones (those in which information is presented in very tiny pieces, with new topics introduced and reinforced or elaborated upon slowly over time, so that topics are mastered gradually and concurrently with each other).

MASTERY-BASED CURRICULA

Math-U-See

• Kindergarten through Calculus
• Primer (K) level would be $91; subsequent levels should be less expensive because the manipulatives set would not have to be purchased again—however, the cost of the curriculum itself goes up in subsequent levels, so the price only drops by around $20.
• Uses manipulatives, DVDs, and songs to teach concepts and aid in math fact memorization
• The scope and sequences is nonstandard, so standardized testing scores do not always reflect students’ learning—the student may not have been exposed to all “grade-appropriate” material but may have mastered “advanced” material that is not yet being tested.

I watched a series of videos that illustrate the way in which mathematical concepts are taught using this program, and I admit to having a light bulb moment or two as the videos showed me new ways of thinking about and understanding math (a subject in which I’ve never felt particularly confident). This program’s unique way of explaining concepts drew me to it, as did several reviews that said that less than confident teachers were able to use this program to learn along with their children and become much better at math than they’d ever been before. However, Jeff and I both had concerns about reviewers’ almost universal assertion that this curriculum is not as rigorous as other math curricula.

Singapore Math

• Currently, grades K-12 are offered, though it was announced recently that this company is discontinuing the courses above 8^th grade.
• It is difficult to determine the exact pricing of this program, as each level requires 2 textbooks, 2 workbooks, and 2 instructor’s guides, and there are a myriad of supplemental materials (advanced word problem workbooks, review workbooks, etc) that some users find critical and others find unnecessary. The consensus among members of homeschool forums tends to be that this is one of the most, if not the most, expensive math curricula available.
• Complicating matters further, there seem to be two kindergarten math programs offered by Singapore: Essential Math and Earlybird Math. I’m not totally clear on all the differences or why we should choose one over the other, other than that Essential is less expensive than Earlybird because it does not require a separate teacher’s manual.
• Based on the national curriculum of Singapore, this curriculum emphasizes mental math and application of mathematical concepts, using a highly sequential, logical progression.
• Singapore Math seems to be widely viewed as the most advanced math curriculum available.

I was drawn to this program because of the glowing reviews it received. From all accounts, students who use this program understand math concepts well, know their math facts cold, and can apply any number of mathematical principles to solve problems that are quite dissimilar to the ones they’ve seen before. Students who are gifted in math can be challenged with a quicker pace or with advanced workbooks. Students who are less gifted in math still learn … unless they get too frustrated with the advanced pace, or unless their parent-teacher is unable to decipher the instructor manual’s often inadequate information on how to teach the concept under study. That last one was a sticking point for me. As a parent-teacher who does not feel confident in my own mathematical ability, I prefer a curriculum that will teach me how to teach the concepts; I’m prepared for Jeff to take over Alexa’s math instruction at some point if necessary, but I’d rather it not be before high school. I worry that Singapore Math, with its alternative methods and focus on conceptual understanding, may be a bit on the advanced side for me, the teacher.

Math Mammoth

• Complete curriculum for grades 1-6; the company also offers supplemental workbooks for grades 1-12.
• $36/year for CD or download of the complete curriculum, or $70 for 3 grades. The digital version also comes with the ability to make as many unique worksheets as needed for review. A printed version also is available for a bit more money.
• Worktext system—all the instruction is provided in the workbook, with no separate teacher’s manual required.
• More advanced than many math curricula, though not as advanced as Singapore
• Singapore-style instruction, using multiple methods with a progression from concrete to conceptual understanding within each lesson.
• Focus on mental math and on word problems that require multiple mathematical processes—deliberate, systematic review is built in to the word problems.

Several reviews described Math Mammoth as a significantly less expensive, slightly less advanced version of Singapore Math. Multiple reviews also indicated that this curriculum worked well for their advanced, average, and struggling students—several reviewers claimed to have one of each in their family and said that all did well with this curriculum.  Most reviewers claimed that although students could do this program independently, it was better if the parent-teacher goes through the lesson with the student. Jeff initially had some concerns with the use of multiple methods of instruction (which historically do not have good results in the United States), though those concerns were mitigated somewhat after he read this article.

SPIRAL-BASED OR INCREMENTAL CURRICULA

Saxon Math

• Complete curriculum for students in grades K-12
• One of the most popular homeschool math curricula, it receives high reviews and also is used in many public schools—which could make for an easier transition if we ever decide to put Alexa in a traditional school
• Relatively traditional math program
• It describes itself as “incremental,” and some users are very adamant that it is incremental, NOT spiral. I’m not quite sure what the difference is, but since it seems to be important to them, I mention it in the interests of fairness.

Saxon is either loved or hated; it never is viewed with ambivalence. It’s been a staple in the homeschooling community for an incredibly long time—many who were taught using Saxon now are teaching their own children. Reviews of the program from parent-teachers are stellar: their students memorize math facts, demonstrate outstanding performance on standardized tests, and can do math independently beginning sometime around 4^th grade. However, reviews from former students are much more mixed—while some enjoyed it, many describe a program that they dreaded every day and that killed any love they may have had for math. Tellingly, many also report encountering problems once they entered college: they had learned to apply their algorithms to a series of similar word problems, but they had not learned how to determine which algorithm was needed to solve unique problems or problems that required the use of multiple algorithms. In short, they reported that they had learned to use algorithms, but not to apply mathematical concepts to real world situations. On the other hand, some reported that they were prepared just fine for college math, they understood the concepts well, and they went on to thrive in STEM careers.

Horizons Math

• Complete K-8 curriculum that uses manipulatives, memorization, and drill
• Developed for homeschoolers—it does not assume a traditional classroom environment
• Reportedly an advanced curriculum, though the spiral format causes students to feel like it is not as difficult as similarly advanced mastery programs would be—they learn things in small enough chunks that they don’t realize how much they’re learning.

This math program also is popular among many homeschoolers. Overall, it receives positive reviews, though I don’t recall seeing many that specifically mentioned how good the program is for conceptual understanding or for memorization of math facts. There were several reviews that indicated that children enjoy this program for its variety—each lesson introduces something new, provides practice with that new concept, and then also provides practice with a lot of different types of problems encountered in the past—though an equal number indicated that children felt lost because there were so many different topics encountered in each lesson that students were never quite certain what they were supposed to be learning. Many reviewers also say that the program is good for grades K through 3, but that the 4^th grade level suddenly begins moving more quickly through the concepts, and their students begin to struggle.

Mathematics Enhancement Programme (MEP)

• Complete K-12 curriculum
• Available for free online, or a printed version can be purchased for Year 1 and up.
• This British curriculum is funded by charitable and educational organizations in an attempt to improve mathematics instruction. Because it is British, some modification would be necessary for use with American students (money, for example).
• The program emphasizes logic and critical thinking skills—students are not told how to solve new problems, but are guided in figuring it out for themselves.
• Designed for classroom use, so significant modification is needed for homeschool use.

I first heard of this program while reading in a discussion group related to the science curriculum we’ve chosen—someone asked if there was a particular math program that worked well with Building Foundations of Scientific Understanding, and the resounding answer was that any math program could be used, but that MEP is the natural complement. It seems to be a spiral curriculum that otherwise is very similar to Singapore: a systematic and logical curriculum that is heavy on mathematical reasoning and application and that encourages students to use a variety of methods to solve problems. Unfortunately, though, it also can be difficult for teacher-parents: it requires significant modification for homeschool use and is highly teacher-intensive, which could be a problem for me given my discomfort with math and the amount of preparation required by our science curriculum.

OUR CHOICE

After discussing all the options with Jeff, we agreed that we would try a mastery curriculum first. I prefer to learn—and therefore also to teach—using a mastery orientation, and if Alexa learns well in my preferred teaching style, that will make things easier for all of us.

However, we also believe in contingency planning, so we agreed that if it turns out that Alexa needs a more spiral curriculum, we’ll switch to one. Neither of us were interested in Saxon, with its mixed reviews. Horizons seems fine, but did not excite us. MEP is a better fit. It emphasizes the things we want to emphasize and would give Alexa the best chance at developing a real understanding and appreciation for math. Therefore, if at some point we realize that Alexa needs a spiral math program, we will try MEP, though it is not our first choice.

That left the three mastery curricula under consideration. Although I loved the presentation of Math-U-See, and it would provide the most assistance to me as the teacher, we quickly eliminated it. We simply aren’t interested in a program that often is described as “not rigorous.”

We were down to two very similar curricula. From that point, the choice was easy, at least for next year: Math Mammoth does not offer a kindergarten level, and Singapore does. We’ll be using Singapore Math for kindergarten—most likely Essentials rather than Earlybird, because it is less expensive and I have not heard of any other major differences between them. We have delayed the decision on first grade and beyond, contingent on how well Alexa does in kindergarten. If she loves doing math and does well at it, we may continue with Singapore under the assumption that we shouldn’t try to fix what isn’t broken. If she does well enough but we get the impression that the more advanced Singapore Math may be too much for her, we will try the slightly less advanced Math Mammoth. We may err on the side of trying Singapore rather than Math Mammoth if there is doubt, because it would be easier to switch from the more advanced to the less advanced option rather than the other way around, but we won’t make any final decisions until toward the end of her kindergarten year.

Now we have all the fundamental subjects covered: phonics, handwriting, math, and science. It’s time to move on to the fun stuff: history, literature, religion, art, music, and physical education. Stay tuned, as I’ll eventually write about those as well.

Letters to My Daughter: Be Stronger Than Your Fear

Dear Alexa,

Yesterday I took you outside to the playground. You were enjoying yourself, playing in the little house above the slide. Then suddenly you made a little frightened noise, ran out of it, and said “What’s that?! What’s that?!” It was a bug. You announced that you didn’t like bugs, that you are afraid of bugs, and that you wanted to go inside. I convinced you to play on the see saw instead, away from the dreaded bug at the top of the slide.

You enjoyed the see saw. You asked me to help you go faster, so I did. Then you got just a little too fast, and it scared you. You wanted to get off the see saw. You wanted to go inside. I convinced you to stay on the playground, though not on the see saw.

You decided to climb up to the top of the wall and walk along it. You always seem to enjoy being up high, as long as I’m beside you to offer a hand if you feel unsteady or if you need to climb from one level to the next. But yesterday, you weren’t on the wall long before you said, “Aaah! A bug!” You wanted to go inside.

I refused to let you. I told you something that may be one of the most important things I have told you in your short life thus far. I said, “It’s ok to be afraid, Alexa. Everyone is afraid sometimes. But you need to be stronger than your fear.” You didn’t really hear it, yesterday. Three years old is too young to truly understand it. So I’m going to say it to you again in writing, in more detail, so that one day, when you are able to understand, you will. This is one of the most important pieces of advice I can give you, child; heed it.

You need to be stronger than your fear. You cannot allow your fear to control you. You must control it.

Fear is a normal and natural part of life. It can save your life, when you experience and react to it appropriately. But when you experience and react to it inappropriately, it can destroy your life. You can’t always control when and how you experience fear. But you can control how you react to it.

When you feel fear, you need to understand why. What are you afraid of? You must identify the source of your fear because that knowledge will allow you to determine two much more important pieces of information—is it logical to fear this thing or this situation, and what reaction from you will give you the best chance at the best outcome?

If you see a snake and feel fear, the first thing you need to know is whether or not this snake is dangerous. Is it poisonous or otherwise deadly? If not, then don’t let your fear of it drive you away. If it is—or if you don’t know if it is—then you know that the logical response is to remove yourself from its presence, either by killing the snake or by leaving. Unless you develop skills and knowledge that your mother has not developed, you will see a snake, experience fear, have no idea if it’s a dangerous snake or not, and get yourself away from it. This is the logical reaction when dealing with a snake that may or may not be dangerous.

If you see a bug and feel fear, identify why you fear it. Do you fear it because it’s a bee that may sting you? Or just because it’s unfamiliar and you think it’s a little gross? Even if it can hurt you, how badly can it hurt you? Chances are, it can hurt you just a little bit, and hurting you will kill it, so it is not motivated to hurt you unless you provoke it. So don’t provoke it, but don’t allow yourself to be driven away from an activity you enjoy because one bee that doesn’t want to hurt you is nearby. If it’s not a bee that can hurt you at all, then even if you can’t make your fear go away, make yourself behave as though you’re not afraid. This is the logical reaction when dealing with a bug that can do minimal, if any, harm to you. Be stronger than your fear.

Fear can be difficult to control. So practice. Don’t run away at the first bit of fear. Just as you enjoy the thrill—the slight fear—of being high on the playground wall, because you know logically that you don’t have to fear falling as long as I’m there to catch you, learn to enjoy the thrill of other new and challenging but not particularly dangerous situations. Explore. Climb walls and trees, if we ever find any that are climbable. Talk to new people. Try new things. Challenge yourself, and don’t back down from any situation just because you feel a little apprehensive—not unless your logic, rather than merely your emotion, tells you that it’s too dangerous for you.

Practicing now will help you immeasurably later. Talking to new people now will help you make friends when you eventually go off on your own, to college or a job as an adult. Overcoming your fear of bugs and creepy crawlies now will make it possible for you to enjoy being outside later, when you want to enjoy a cookout or play sports or go to the swimming pool. And in general, learning to be stronger than your fears now, when it may seem unimportant, will teach you to be stronger than your fears later, when it may be very important indeed.

If you learn to be stronger than your fear, you will do what’s right in the face of pressure to do what’s wrong.

If you learn to be stronger than your fear, you will not freeze in an emergency situation where quick action is required.

If you learn to be stronger than your fear, you will deal with difficult or scary situations before they become even harder to manage.

And even if these more extreme situations do not come to pass for you, if you learn to be stronger than your fear, then you will open up a whole world of possibilities for yourself. You may or may not choose to go hiking or camping or rock climbing—but your decision will be made based on whether you think you would enjoy those activities, not on whether you’re too afraid of the bugs or the snakes or the height. You may or may not choose to try the exotic new food or vacation in the exotic location—but if you choose not to, it won’t be because you’re secretly afraid that you can’t handle the unknown. You may or may not choose to marry or have children—but if you choose not to, it won’t be because you’re afraid of the lifelong commitment or the responsibility.

You were not created to be a slave to fear, Alexa. But you will be. Unless you learn to control it. Be stronger than your fear. Make it your slave, not your master. Use it as a tool to warn you, not a wall to stop you.

Your mama and your daddy will always love you, Alexa, but when it comes to your fear, it’s yours, and you must decide what to do with it. We will do our best to help you. To let you do things that are not perfectly safe or comfortable. To help you learn that even when you fall, you’ll be ok and you can get back up and try again. But your daddy and I cannot force you to master your fear. We cannot force you to be strong. We will help you, but the decision and the work must be yours.

Be stronger than your fear.

Love,

Mama

Our New Adventure

In just under three weeks, we will celebrate Alexa’s third birthday.

In the last three years, I have watched her grow from a helpless infant—so helpless that she required a little assistance even to get enough oxygen into her lungs at first—into an active little girl. She loves running around, jumping on her bed (though only when she thinks I don’t know), going to the playground, and zooming around on her ride-on giraffe. She also loves being read books, especially Curious George books; looking at books on her own; and playing games on her Daddy’s iPad—including but not limited to the educational Curious George games that teach her phonics and all sorts of random facts about various animals.

Several times over the last few months, I’ve thought about what we need to do to encourage and develop the love of learning that Alexa, like so many other children her age, perceives as so natural. This past weekend, I finally thought about it at a time when I was with Jeff, so we could discuss it.

As I see it, we have three options: send her to preschool; continue as we have been with unstructured play at home, which often turns into me teaching Alexa informally or into Alexa playing educational iPad games or watching educational movies; or keep Alexa at home, but use a planned curriculum so that for part of the day, she “attends” preschool at home.

The most common option among Foreign Service families, and indeed among families in the United States in general so far as I can tell, is to send children of this age “out” for preschool. There definitely are benefits to this approach. For families in which both parents work outside the home, this option makes the most sense and often is the only option that even occurs to them—many daycares function as de facto preschools, as they start teaching, telling stories to, and singing with the kids well before the age of three. This option also provides the most opportunities for children to socialize with other children, and for Foreign Service families, it’s an easy way to expose children to the local language and the local culture—even if the instruction is provided in English (as it usually is for the preschools chosen by Foreign Service parents), it’s very common for most of the children to use the local language in their play. However, it’s also the most expensive option—a preschool that is used by many expatriates in Pristina has a flyer (from five years ago) which lists annual tuition and fees of over 2,400 euro, or over $3,000, which can be a strain on the budget when you’re a single-income family that is trying hard to save money for future needs (such as a house, a child’s college, retirement, replacement cars, and anticipated trips back home to the States). And for a child with high social anxiety, like Alexa, the many opportunities (or requirements) for social interaction may be more of a problem than a benefit.

The second most common option (I’m guessing, but I think I’m right) is to keep the child at home and allow things to continue as they have been until the child is old enough for “real” school. This option is the most budget-friendly and easiest for families in which one parent stays home full-time. And it’s really all that’s needed in regard to school preparation for most children who do not live in poverty and who have loving, attentive parents. Just by doing what we’ve been doing, with no concerted effort at education, Alexa has learned her numbers to 20 (though she often skips a number or two, most often “16” lately), most of her letters, and a lot of her shapes and colors (though she tends to confuse “black” and “brown”), as well as miscellaneous things like left or right and top or bottom. She also navigates the menus on her Daddy’s iPad at least as well as I do and knows how to play the games on there much better than I do. I’d say she’s pretty well prepared, in a purely academic or intellectual sense, if we wanted to start her into kindergarten next year. But there’s more to education than these facts that she’s picked up; although we’re doing well at preparing Alexa at home in an academic sense, we are not doing as well in other areas. I’ve not done a good job in teaching Alexa Bible stories, and we don’t have age-segregated Sunday school to help me. Alexa has not held a pair of scissors, a glue stick, or a bottle of liquid glue. Her experience with pens, pencils, and even crayons is a bit limited—she still wants me to “help” her draw rather than doing it herself, and her ability to draw a straight line, much less trace a letter, is suspect. And these are only the things I realize she hasn’t learned. I don’t want her to miss out on things she could and should learn because I don’t naturally do things with her that would teach her that information or those skills. Also, as Jeff pointed out, we never want to give Alexa the impression that she’s learned enough for her age or developmental level, that she can stop learning until she hits a new milestone, at which point she’s expected to learn more. But to constantly teach her age-appropriate skills and information … to never be at a loss for what to teach her next … to have to remember all on my own all those songs and stories and skills that children her age seem to pick up in preschool … well. It feels a bit overwhelming.

And that brings us to option number three, the least commonly chosen choice: the decision to homeschool a preschool curriculum. This choice is the compromise between the other two in many ways. It’s less expensive than sending a child “out” for preschool, and it can be free if you use online resources, have access to a good public library (we don’t), and are willing to put in a lot of work getting organized (I’d rather not). Opportunities and requirements for social interaction are determined by the parents much as they were before formal schoolwork started; church, playgroups, and other social activities continue to provide that. The parent continues to teach his or her own child, but there’s a plan in place—developed by the parents, or developed by someone else and chosen by the parents—to make sure the child learns what the parent believes is important. Drawbacks also are a combination of the other two choices: it can be expensive (though even the most expensive option I’ve seen costs significantly less than the international preschool here). If the parent doesn’t arrange social interactions with similarly aged children, they don’t happen. And the responsibility for educating the child still lies squarely with the parent, so it can feel a bit overwhelming. In some ways, the responsibility can feel more overwhelming, simply because there are so many choices of curriculum, so many things to consider. How many parents of preschoolers have thought through their educational philosophy? How many know the differences among various models of education? How many even feel competent to begin formally (or informally, depending on philosophy) educating their child?

As you’ve probably guessed by now, we chose option number three. It’s the option that is the most work for me, the stay-at-home parent. It’s the option that my naturally lazy self would just as soon avoid—honestly, the easiest for me would be to send her out to preschool, even with the adjustments that would be required in other areas of our budget. But that wouldn’t be best for her. Despite her acquisition of information and skills, Alexa is a young three (well, a young almost-three). She isn’t ready to be away from me all day, or even all morning. She isn’t ready to spend all morning with a group of other kids, required to interact with them, or with a stranger for a teacher and caregiver. I could make the case for why it would be good for her to force her into these social situations, but I don’t honestly believe it. I believe that forcing her to be more social than she’s ready to be would cause her more anxiety and make the problem worse in the long run. So I intend to take her to one or two playgroups a week, and take or send her to Sunday school (assuming she doesn’t fall asleep and nap during that time). And I’ll make an effort to find a friend or two near her age, or maybe a year older, with whom she can spend a little one-on-one time and maybe get comfortable. But I’m not going to force her into social situations without me being there to be her safe haven.

It also would not be best for her to continue as we have been, without any forethought or planning when it comes to her learning. She’s learned a lot this way, but that only reinforces my belief that I need to make more learning opportunities available for her. I often start to teach her something one day, then forget about it until she mentions it a day, week, or month later—even when I do realize that there’s something specific and age-appropriate that I can teach her, I’m not good at the follow-through without a plan. Her learning to this point has been almost entirely self-motivated, which is good, but a lot of it has happened because we had the appropriate tools available: an alphabet puzzle, Curious George Learns the Alphabet, several Leapfrog alphabet-oriented movies on Netflix, for example, and she enjoyed them and just learned her letters. But it’s been haphazard, and for much of what I want her to learn now, I don’t know what materials I can have in order to stimulate her interest. If I have a prepared curriculum that I can go through with her, and if she enjoys “school time” as much as I think she will, then I’ll have a guide in how to introduce and teach the lessons I want her to learn.

Combine both of those sets of reasons—her unreadiness to go “out” to school and our desire for her to have more planned learning activities—and there’s a good case for a homeschool preschool. Then add in our openness to the idea of homeschooling, which started for me before Alexa was born, and Jeff’s slowly-growing-over-the-years preference (not mere openness, but preference) for the idea of homeschooling over the idea of sending her out to school, and there you have it. This is the choice we’ve been heading toward for years. Then it was just time to pick or develop a curriculum … and that’s the subject of another blog post.

Moments to Remember

Every time we move, we experience many small events that make an impression in the moment. Many of these events go unrecorded, as there isn’t enough to say about them to fill a blog post. Many more get quick mentions on Facebook, only to disappear into the ether as time passes, memory fades, and we don’t look back on old Facebook statuses and remember.

Life with a young child, likewise, is filled with small events. We parents think we’ll never forget all the moments of sweet innocence, of joyful silliness, of hilarious cluelessness. But we do.

This blog can serve as my reminder. After each international move, I download the posts written from our previous home, and I create a “blog book.” In the process, I edit heavily—correcting the formatting errors that occur during the download (why in the world do ALL the blog-to-book software options remove the space between paragraphs?!), adding in pictures and names that I don’t want to share on the internet, fixing the typographical errors that I missed the first time around. And in the process, I remember.

As I read each post, it takes me back. I find myself reliving the moments of which I hadn’t thought in months, about which I’d totally forgotten. I am reminded of details. I look back on those moments that would have been lost forever if I hadn’t recorded them.

Today I am inspired to preserve a few* moments. Bear with me, please … or better yet, enjoy and appreciate these small moments with me.

I Love You, Mama

Several months ago, I asked Alexa—on a whim, really—if she wanted to tell Daddy that she loves him. Immediately, she made her wordless affirmative noise. “Ok, then, go ahead and tell him.”

No hesitation: “I love you, Daddy,” came her sweet voice. Since then, she’s told him more times than I can count.

But ask her if she wants to tell Mama that she loves her. Again, no hesitation: “No.” Ask her if she loves Mama, and she says “yes” or makes her wordless affirmative noise. But ask her if she wants to say the words, and she absolutely, positively, most assuredly does not.

Yesterday morning, I was getting ready to go out to the supermarket. Because it was Memorial Day, Jeff was home, and Alexa would be staying with him while I did the shopping. As I was putting my shoes on by the door, I heard Jeff upstairs in the playroom, asking Alexa “Would you like to tell Mama you love her?” I didn’t hear the response, but I didn’t need to; I’d heard it every time he asked her that question.

“Mama, did you hear that?” Jeff called. After my negative response, he asked Alexa to say the same thing, just louder.

And then I heard it.

Alexa’s sweet little voice, saying “I love you, Mama.”

I restrained my impulse to go pick her up and hug her with all my strength … scaring and possibly breaking her isn’t the appropriate reaction. Instead I took a cue from Jeff’s response when she tells him that she loves him, and I said calmly, “I love you, too, Sweet Pea.”

Since then, Jeff has asked her a couple more times if she wants to tell Mama that she loves her. The response? Absolutely, positively, most assuredly “No.” But that’s okay. She’ll say it again in her own time. Until then, I’ll be grateful that one time, she chose to give me the simple joy of hearing her sweet little voice telling me that she loves me.

Uh Oh! There’s Nobody There!

Apparently I have not done well in saying the blessing with Alexa before she eats her lunch every day. Each evening at dinner, either Jeff or I will say “It’s time to pray,” and Alexa obediently will put down her fork, spoon, or food (whichever is in her hand at that moment) and reach out her hands—one for Jeff to hold and one for me to hold. Then we pray, we release hands, and we all start (or resume, in Alexa’s case) eating.

At lunch, Alexa almost always eats earlier than I do. She eats between 11 and 11:30 most days, well before I get hungry—and since she doesn’t take long to eat, and goes down for her nap immediately after lunch, I don’t eat with her even when I am ready for lunch, because I don’t want to rush. So I set her up with some food and then either clean up the kitchen while she eats or sit with her at the table but don’t eat anything. Although it feels a bit sacrilegious to admit it, it usually doesn’t occur to me to pray with her if I’m not eating.

Today, however, I did eat with her. I set her up with her food, then prepared mine and sat down at the table. “It’s time to pray,” I said.

Alexa obediently put down her spoon and reached out both hands—one to me and one to the empty chair beside her. Then she looked at me in all seriousness and said, “Uh oh! There’s nobody there!”

I had to assure her that when no one else is here, it’s okay to just hold Mama’s hand while we pray. Unfortunately, for Alexa, that translates into transferring her spoon to her other hand and continuing to eat while holding Mama’s hand during the blessing, but that’s a discussion for another day.

Lexa is Still Hungry!

Jeff was a little late getting home today, and Alexa was really hungry by the time he arrived. I’d held dinner because I didn’t realize just how late he was going to be, so she hadn’t had anything to eat in over three hours, even though it was half an hour past her usual dinner time. So we fixed her plate first and let her go ahead and sit down to eat while we fixed ours (since we were eating leftovers from our cookout yesterday, it was just a matter of fixing plates and reheating them). By the time Jeff sat down and I was almost ready to sit down, Alexa was ready for dessert.

We offered chocolate ice cream, also left over from yesterday. Alexa enthusiastically accepted. I gave her the ice cream, then sat down to eat (“Uh oh! We forgot to pray!” Alexa said, as we said the blessing over her dessert). Moments later, Alexa had eaten all her ice cream and wanted more.

We said no. Cue the sad little pitiful crying, with big crocodile tears rolling down her face. “Lexa is still hungry!”

Jeff told her that we understood that she was still hungry, and she could eat more if she wanted to, but not more ice cream. She needed to eat a lot of good healthy food, and only a little dessert. That was not what she wanted to hear. The crocodile tears intensified.

Then we offered a specific alternative to chocolate ice cream. “Would you like some carrots and red pepper?” (Also left over from yesterday, from the vegetable appetizers.)

“Yes!” The tears dried up—immediately. When we offered some leftover watermelon as well, you’d think the chocolate ice cream never even existed.

Is there any other child in the world who views carrots, red peppers, and watermelon as an acceptable—and even superior—substitute for chocolate ice cream?

*Originally there were two more moments I wanted to share today, moments that have more to do with moving here than with Alexa. However, in the process of writing them down, they became their own blog posts. Expect them in the coming days.